I paced the large space in the living room of my 2 bedroom apartment. The symphony of rejection played by an orchestra of heartbreak, unleashed an opera of anger, pain and bitterness I never knew existed within.
The betrayal I received from a man, I had come to love and trust for six years was unbearable. I could not believe that our epic love relationship had been tossed carelessly to the wind, and that our shared hopes and dreams were over just like that. It was unacceptable to me.
The pain I felt when I had appendicitis was nothing compared to what I felt now.
The conversation we had within the confines of his living room last night replayed in my head for the umpteenth time.
“I don’t love you anymore, I stopped loving you a long time ago”.
All I could utter was how? Why? As hot tears I had been struggling to hold back throughout our conversation, that had transformed more into a screaming match in the last 20 minutes, burned my cheeks.
The tears had easily betrayed how weak and hurt I felt by those words.
“You’re asking me how?” he asked.
“Yes, at least I deserve an explanation”
I choked back more tears that was threatening to fall.
“Sure you do” he said coldly.
I waved him off with a demeaning stare, I was irritated at his audacity to mock me that way.
“Tonye you can’t just throw away 6 years! 6 bloody years! Just like that!”. I shouted, refraining myself from throwing the artefact on the table at him. My patience had almost ran out when he finally spoke.
“Look I’m sorry ada, but you don’t expect that after 2 whole years of being apart that things would still be the same…” I interrupted him sharply.
“I expected so much from you tonye!..i..i..thought that you loved me, or that was what you always told me, for two years you made me believe a bloody lie! How could you tonye? How could you be so callous? You know how far we’ve come and how much I had to sacrifice for you, for us”.
“Enough ada!, it wasn’t my fault that you had left me when you got the first opportunity to travel overseas, I mean did you think of sacrifice when you went to further your studies outside Nigeria? even after our plans of getting married immediately after your N.Y.S.C. You went against me to apply for a post graduate scholarship in the uk god damn! And you deemed it fit to tell me about it only 2 weeks to your departure.”
“But I thought you had forgiven me when I apologised, you told me you understood and you were fine and happy that I was following my dreams” I said in defence.
“Yes I did, but after you left I realised that your career would always come first before us”.
“That’s not true!” I cried.
“you know I loved and still love you, and that I always wanted to be with you, if not why did you think I struggled against all odds to keep up communication between us. Why did I turn down the suitors that were coming..oh my gosh, I should have seen the signs when our communication was crippling just 6 months after I had left for the UK!.. all those times I tried to understand your silly excuses, and lack of care or trust for me. You knew you no longer wanted our relationship, but you kept on coming back to apologise, and to tell me you still loved me whenever we argued, you even promised that we would get married after I came back to Nigeria you bastard!..and now this is what I get? You’re engaged to your ex!” the anger that rushed through my vein was driving me crazy, in reaction, I rushed forward to land a slap across his face but his hand caught mine midway.
“Let go off me!” I ordered, He obeyed.
“Tonye akuboye this is what I get for six years?”.
He shrugged nonchalantly and said.
“Don’t put it that way darling, life happens. See i’m sorry but as you can see you no longer have a place in my life. I’m about to settle down with anita and you should move on with your life too”.
I reached out for his face again and this time I planted a perfect slap there. Temporarily satisfied I said in defiance
“you’re a bloody liar and I regret the day I met you, but mark my words; you will regret deceiving me all these times! this is not the last you would hear from me”.
I stormed out of his apartment angrily.
Tonye had been my first love, our love had blossomed back in university days.
I had met him in my sophomore at the University of Port Harcourt. He was a final year student of chemical engineering then, while I was studying microbiology and I had been lovestruck at first sight. We became friends and then lovers after tonye graduated.
We had planned our lives together and a future with each other. It hurt me less that I’d lost him in my quest for securing academic achievement but it hurt me more that he had deceived me and gone ahead to get engaged to his ex out of spite and revenge. I had never felt so betrayed, humiliated and deceived in my entire life.
The pain of a broken heart would drive me to insanity and bitterness. I was willing to have my revenge on him and as a wounded woman whose love had been scorned, I cared more about going to any length to soothe my injured pride and to bask in the sweetness of revenge. I was going to move on only after my revenge was done.
To Be Continued……..